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Dress Right!
Eight for Ninety-eight
Q: It is easy to find a list of what is considered to be "a man's basic wardrobe." But
what about accessories and those other little touches that let a man demonstrate his
personal style and try some sprezzatura? Could you list eight items that
might complete a stylish man's look in 1998?
A: Certainly.
Eight for Ninety-eight
- Flared pants. I don't go for this look myself, but if you own them you'd better wear them
now because this is the last year they'll be fashionable.
- Red socks. So pre-milennial. So East meets West. So
Hong Kong. So Wong Kar Wai.
- Zegna Sweater-jacket. "As comfortable as a cardigan," goes the tag line, but the real triumph
here is flexibility. Wear it with slacks, khakis, or jeans. Dress up in a dress-down office, or
go casual in a dress-up office.
"Può una giacca far dimenticare a chi la indossa di essere tale? La riposta è sì."
- Black fishnet stockings and black high heels. If you're not comfortable enough with your
sexuality to go drag once in a while, perhaps you'd be interested in our boys
fashion column.
For the true men who remain: you can borrow most articles of women's clothing from actual women,
but finding stockings sleazy enough and shoes large enough is quite a challenge. Any lady who is
classy enough to own stockings will probably own classy stockings. Most women who share your
shoe size will be quite tall, and will not want to accentuate their heights with the 4-inch
stilleto heels that a drag costume requires. You'll be better off in the long run to own these
items yourself.
- Think De Niro in "Wag the Dog". Gently menacing. Supremely confident. Unimposing, yet in control.
He will be our new Gordon Gekko. We will wear that hat, that jacket, that beard, and maybe we
will control our destinies as he controlled the public mind.
- "Double-breasted" suits. Another great look from the Hong Kong cinema--jackets tailored to
accomodate dual shoulder holsters. This look provides both a sense of menace
(he's not packing heat in the boardroom, is he?) and a feeling of security (the evil crime
lord's goons won't disrupt this sales meeting).
- Really bad hair. Millions of men, myself included, have really bad hair. For years we have
forced our hair into patterns it would not accept. But now that Bill Gates, the Duke of Dishevelment,
has entered the public conciousness as a virile visionary and captain of industry, bad hair will be seen
as a sign of power and intelligence for the first time since Einstein. A touch of gel here and there
will signal that our hair is not messy due to neglect--hey, I tried to comb it, but my wit and charisma
are like a hurricane.
- Bay Town dress shoes. 100% man-made materials. They are not as attractive or as comfortable as
"real" shoes, but are OK for many situations. Most importantly, they are completely indestructable
and waterproof. And cheap. So if your collection of shoes is feeling a bit stagnant, throw a couple
pair of Bay Towns into the mix.
Where to Buy
- Flared pants can be had in any store. If you're planning on buying new, I would
suggest you go for something cheap, because they won't be "in" much longer. You don't want a $50
pair of pants hanging in your closet unworn until the next 70s revival.
- The only national chain that carries non-logo red socks on a regular basis is
The Gap.
- "Is a jacket capable of making whoever is wearing it forget who they actually are? The answer is yes." --Gildo
Zegna. $1500 at fine clothing stores.
- If you only go drag a few times a year, Target carries reasonable ladies' wear at low prices. If
you're going to buy something of higher quality, ask a lady friend for a list of good local stores.
Bring her along, if you can.
- The costume designer for "Wag the Dog" was Rita Ryack. If you have a keen eye and know whose
clothing Mr. De Niro wore in this film, I would love to find out. (If you're in a retro mood, Michael
Douglas's "Wall Street" wardrobe was created by Alan Flusser.)
- Loan your tailor a copy of "The Killer" and he'll get the idea.
- This one's free! Just stop using on conditioner. Or bring a photo of Mr. Gates to your stylist.
- Bay Town dress shoes are $15 at Wal-Mart. So they're not only indestructable,
they're expendable.
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